I've been feeling completely overwhelmed this week. Like a crazy juggler in the middle of the circus ring with the spotlight blinding me and the audience waiting to see what I will juggle next. First the scarves, then the balls followed by a shoe and a chainsaw and finally, an egg. It's the egg of course that smashes on my head, yolk running down my face as the audience boos.
I'm not actually juggling chainsaws but I am juggling work, children, writing, making and trying to get a project off the ground whilst building a following as a teacher of barefoot shoe making. Normally the variety and the complexity of my various projects challenge and inspire me but not this week. This week I've been feeling totally out of my depth.
I'm not sure what the tipping point was but I suspect it had something to do with my self imposed deadline of finishing a project by the weekend. This week I've been experimenting with essential oils to create perfume blends as well as designing labels for their packaging. I've been working on this project for well over a year now and am feeling very excited about getting it done. Also a bit panicky. What if it's not good enough? What if I have to start all over again? Those self doubts had me by the jugular.
So what happened next? How did I manage to face down those fears and feel a little less overwhelmed and a lot calmer? The answer may surprise you. It still surprises me.
If you'd told me when I was in my twenties (heck, even when I was in my thirties) that I would find vacuuming to be soothing and calming, even enjoyable, I would have said that you were. IN. SANE. But it's totally true. In the middle of the craziness, the deadlines and the mess, I vacuumed the house. And I immediately felt a million times better. All the craziness and juggling are still there. I'm madly chasing down those deadlines but the house is clean and I feel calm. Whatever comes next, I can cope with!