Before Christmas I posted about some craft I was doing as presents for friends. At the time I hadn't actually started it but I was hopeful that in the middle of all the other end of year and Christmas craft happenings it would get done.
Well it didn't get done. And it's still not done. And the longer I leave it, the more paralyzed by uncertainty I get. I'm planning to eco-dye some cotton fabric but before I can I need to pre mordant it with soy milk. I haven't done it before and I've heard from those who have that dyeing cotton in this way can be hit or miss. I'm reluctant to pour my heart and soul into something that may not work. I want certainty dammit!
I know I need to dive right in and do it. Usually a deadline or event helps me along but Christmas has been and gone so it no longer feels urgent. Now it feels more like a weight on my shoulders.
Slowly though that weight is lifting. Spending time at the beach, lying in the sun on the sand and listening to the girls play while my thoughts wander is helping. Time to sift through feelings, thoughts, ideas and memories. Time to appreciate all the good around me. Time to connect to my self and to nature. It's all helping.
The beautiful calendar that arrived unexpectedly in the mail from a dear friend helped immensely. Soul Stories is the creation of Tams. And she makes the most exquisite art - beautiful drawings with heart filling aphorisms.
As did an email from this powerhouse and inspiring woman. If you want to receive amazing insights from someone who's been there and isn't afraid to tell it how it is or share her vulnerabilities and learnings, you've gotta sign up for Ishita's list. I always feel better after I get one of her emails.
A long rambling phone call with a new and very dear friend, the incredible Mel Turnbull of Firekeepers was food for the soul of the most nourishing and nurturing kind. With Mel I am deepening my connection to nature and remembering my place in the animal kingdom. I'm always telling my kids that we're animals but they can't see it yet.
My antidotes to the paralyzingly fear of uncertainty? To ground myself with connection to nature, to friends, to community and to art.
Four things to do if you're feeling paralysed by uncertainty:
1. Go outside and lie on the ground
On the grass under a tree, on a warm rock on a hill, on the sand at the beach - it's your choice. Just make sure you've got you whole body connected with the ground. Gaze at the sky, the leaves in the trees or have a snooze. Let you mind wander. Go wherever it takes you. This isn't a meditation so it doesn't matter if your thoughts wander or if you fall asleep.
2. Talk to someone.
A good friend, someone you admire or an interesting stranger. Take your time and dive deep into the depths of the conversation with your full attention and all your heart (most definitely do not take your phone).
3. Find a mentor.
They don't have to be someone you know, you don't even have to talk to them. You can read their books, go to their seminars, do their courses and devour their web sites. There are so many open, generous and kind-hearted souls out here who are willing to share what they know. Go find them!
4. Connect to the thing that makes your heart sing.
For me it's beautiful and uplifting art. For you it may be a song or a dance or a spider spinning a web. Just take a moment to connect to something beautiful that fills your heart and takes you out of yourself and at the same time connects you to what is most important in your life.
I promise you'll feel much more grounded and connected and able to tackle whatever is on your plate with certainty once you've connected to nature, beauty, your self and your community.