After the Solstice last week I crashed big time. Too much sugar and too many late nights burning the candle at both ends finally took its toll. My body said enough and sent me to bed with a cold. I'm the worst patient in the world - grumpy, mopey, sooky and irritable. It's partly from being sick and partly from not being able to do anything. I'm a doer and find it oh so hard to sit still and do nothing. But I did do nothing and I slowly got better.
Of course once I was better, I wanted something to do! But nothing took my fancy. I've just finished revamping this website, a project that consumed me for a couple of months and I had the post project flat feeling. There are a couple of creative projects lurking around the house I could finish but they've been hanging around for months and aren't very appealing. What's that about I wonder? Why aren't the half finished projects as enticing as something completely new?
That's when I realised what the problem was - there was nothing new and shiny to get excited about and look forward to. I need new and exciting. My brain thrives on new creative challenges and loves learning new skills and having new experiences. It helps to break the monotony of daily and weekly routines. I know I need those routines to keep me grounded but without the creative challenge I feel listless and downhearted. Routine and creativity are the two bookends for my life.
Once I decided I wanted to have a go at knitting a shawl/poncho type of thingy to wear I felt happy and bouncy. Just the idea of a new creative project on the horizon was enough to get me cleaning my desk and sorting through the mound of paper, things to repair and kid's toys that had gathered there. It was so cathartic to be going through my pile of half finished To Do lists and working out what I still needed to do (I run on lists. I'm the list queen :) Having something to look forward to (and not just any old thing but something new to make with my hands) was just the motivation I needed to get organised and do some long overdue planning.
Motivation is a puzzle that I'm always trying to figure out. What motivates me? Why don't I feel like doing anything? I'm really intrigued by this idea of things and how it has fuelled my motivation. I don't actually have anything tangible to hold. I haven't done or achieved anything. There's no grand ambition or lofty life goal. I'm not curing cancer or building a rocket ship to the moon. All I have is an idea to make something new and yet it is nourishing my soul in an incredible way.
Ideas are kinda tricky to photograph so I've posted photos of my tidy desk and workspace. It takes up a little corner of the lounge room of our flat.
The idea of a poncho is so exciting because I get to plan and dream. We all need to spend more time dreaming, it is such good medicine for the soul. I'm dreaming about the type of wool I'll use. Maybe I can use white wool and eco-dye it with natural materials. I love combining my craft skills and knowledge like this - knitting and dyeing. Has anyone coined the term cross-crafting I wonder?
I'm also wondering if I need to buy a new pair of knitting needles. I'm thinking about where to get a pattern. From my friend Melli who was wearing a gorgeous hand knitted shawl last week or somewhere online? I'm dreaming about wearing it and how good it will look. I love making things to wear for myself.
As you can see, my brain is fizzing with ideas, plans and dreams. And they all came from the little idea of making a poncho. Now I have a clean desk, a blog post, a plan and something to look forward to and dream about. All in all, a good day's work!